I was reading an article in the NYT about the well over a million dollar cost of a pair of IVF twins with complications, and how this is not terribly uncommon with IVF babies. This often ends up as cost to our health care system that we all end up subsidizing directly or indirectly. Now I happen to like children, and when I was young I always assumed that I would have some. Such is not the case. If I had been married and unable to have kids I MIGHT have adopted, but then again maybe not. As a single woman, nurturing kittens and my garden sometimes seems like too much work. I cannot imagine the extra stresses of a child under these conditions, no matter what the joys. Several studies have indicated that people without children are happier than those with. On top of that, there are waaay too many humans on this planet.
So, in a curmudgeonly fit I wrote this comment in to the NYT:
"I am a childless woman, and not childless by choice, who truly does not understand why my fellow women think that having a child is so critically important. So I am going to be a curmudgeon here. We are not short of people, or even babies, in this world. I don't think that extraordinary ways to produce a child should ever be subsidized. The ability to reproduce links us with cockroaches not the things that make humans unique. If you cannot have a child with any biological ease and you MUST nurture something because you are hardwired or socially ingrained that way, adopt, get a puppy, or learn how to transcend your animal desire to have a child. Being childless is not the end of the world. There are plenty of people who CAN have a child who will do so and raise their kids well. They will do the job nicely for those of us that can't or simply don't due to life's vagaries.
If you can't feel self worth if you can't be a mother you need help."
I wonder how many incensed replies I will get.
About Me
- H
- I am a solitary creature. Not from dislike of my fellows, but just by my nature. I tend to absorb completely in whatever I am doing, losing track of everything else. It is a strength and a weakness. I am not a multitasker. I think the world is an amazing and beautiful place. The more we know about it, the more astounding it is.
Maukie - the virtual cat
6 comments:
You are so brave. I, too, am rather opinionated on the subject. As someone who *has* adopted, I also believe that there are plenty of existing children who need parents. I could go on, but you have said so much so eloquently already, I will not. But when you get all those incensed replies, remember that there *are* people on your side.
Surprisingly, the majority of comments are much like mine. http://community.nytimes.com/comments/www.nytimes.com/2009/10/11/health/11fertility.html
i respect your opinion and many of your comments reflect my views as well. however, one always needs to take in to account the wider perspective. the quest for children at all costs may be destructive but is mostly driven by the need to attain perfection and avoid any form of failure in all things that has become the hallmark of modern living. cultural influences may also play a role in this but when push comes to shove, the average childless couple will seek the more affordable route and this is where the distinctions of class and social strata come into play. thus if subsidizing IVF makes it possible for low income families to have their bundles of joy, i'm all for it. until then , i'd advise them to become surrogate aunts and uncles if not parents to the millions of children out there who need a responsible adult to care for them.
You put my thoughts into words...there are enough children in this world. I sort of think it is an egotism to need to have one's own children.
You put my thoughts into words...there are enough children in this world. I sort of think it is an egotism to need to have one's own children.
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